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Very British Problems 4



Have you been waiting long? 
1. "No, don't be silly" - 5 mins 
2. "Only a few minutes" - 15 minutes 
3. "A little while"- Days 
4. "A bit"- Months 
______________ 
Dealing with a queue jumper by widening your eyes and looking slightly to the side. 
______________ 
Quite cross: "Honestly it's fine" 
Very cross: "Seriously, don't worry about it" 
Bloody livid: "Look, just forget it" 
______________ 
"Thanks a lot" - Sounds sarcastic 
"Thanks for that" - Sounds annoyed 
"Thanks a bunch" -Sounds furious 
______________ 
"It's hardly ideal" - Translation: It's a potentially life-destroying situation. 
____________ 
Places you can 'pop' 
1. To the shop. 
2. Next door. 
3. Out to get some petrol. 
4. Down to the Post Office. 
5. To the cash point. 
______________ 
Ending a call: "Okay, lovely, great, that is brilliant, okay then, speak soon, cheers then, bye, bye... yep..." 
______________
Brit 1: Exuse me , sorry, can I just... 
Brit 2: Yes, of course, sorry 
Brit 1: Sorry, thanks. 
<both Brits somehow know what's happening> 
_____________ 
"So sorry" -Actually sorry 
"Sorry about that"- Not really sorry 
"Sorry you feel that way" - Not sorry at all 
"Sorry but" - Apologise to me 
____________ 
Nah, haven't finished putting my shopping on the checkout conveyor yet, random fellow shopper, but you crack on. We'll just play together, Eh. 
___________ 
Being unable to concentrate as someone gives you directions because you're so focused on looking like you're paying attention. 
Also 
How to receive directions: 
-Look very serious 
-Repeat last two instructions 
-Say "Thank you" & drive immediately to a dead end. 
___________ 
"He is a bit of a character"- Translation: He's the worst person I've ever met. 
___________ 
Removing the "kind" from "kind regards" to let the recipient know you're absolutely bloody livid. 
__________ 
"It was okay" - Translation: An event occurred, I took no interest in it, then came home. 
__________ 
"Sorry, could I just squeeze by? 
<Person doesn't move an inch> 
"Thanks" 
_________ 
handy#snowday 
Shopping list: 
-8.000 tea bags 
-Everything in canned goods aisle 
-All the bread 
-400 pints of milk 
-Enough booze to fill the shed 
-50 Easter Eggs 
-12Kg of cheese 
-A whole trolley of crisps 
-One small bag of lettuce.

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