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Word on the street... let's spice things up a little

So I want to ditch that boring grammar stuff (yawn) and talk about street language, that we use every day. Yes, you're correct - I'm talking about slang. 

Well, there are a few rules, actually. 
1. You don’t need grammar. It's not your friend, it won't help you with the sentence structure, and it does not assist you in any way. In fact, it will probably get your face kicked off. 

2. Do not correct other people’ grammar. I repeat DON'T DO IT. You may think you’re protecting the language, but those kids outside Peckham station will not thank you for that. See the previous comment about what might happen to you. 

Basically, what we say - chat shit get banged. 

3. Take BUTTERZ for example. Here we have taken our popular dairy product, made it plural with a Z (with a ‘Z’, not an 'S', OK ), and given it a totally new meaning. This lovely word is now used to describe, amongst other offensive things, someone who isn't attractive. 

4. Works in the opposite. BARE, rather than taking its original meaning, actually means A LOT. 
PEAK - Not what the Cambridge Dictionary told you in slightest, don't be tricked by written books. 
It actually means a situation or someone is very negative. 

-Did you hear what happened last night? The party got locked arff" (shut down by police). 
-That's peak! 
5. SHANK is the verb definition of TO STAB. You just need to know this in case someone says ‘I am going to SHANK you' and you think they’re being friendly with you. Err, they're not and you're about to die unless you leg it. 

6. There are strange words that you will not understand at first. Just go with it, until you can get home and check the Urban Dictionary. Some examples are ‘dizzy’ in ‘Are you dizzy, blud?’ and ‘gassed’ in ‘Whoever said that was gassed.’ 

Dizzy means someone acting foolish or stupid, and gassed meaning someone who is overly excited or overly confident about themselves. 

7. Don't judge - that's the most important thing. Some people are unaware of the letter ( T ) in any word, and some people speak disgustingly damaged English. London is full of different types. 
Just be open to it all. After all, everyone here is your bruv/bredrin/blud. 
London has full access to the English language. However, words are always shifting. What was tolerable today might not be tomorrow. The best place to master SLANG is on the streets of North, East or South London. 

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